I never thought I would start my first blog post like this, but here goes nothing: 2017 so far has been the worst year of my life. I don’t want to delve into it too much right now, because I’m already super scared by the fact that people might be reading all these things about me. However, I do need to give you a bit of a back story.
I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health this year, which has had a huge negative impact on all aspects of my life. I stopped moving forward and everything collapsed on top of me. Thanks to a lot of hard work on my part and the right professional help, as of last month I’ve been finally feeling a bit better. However… Three weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I’m pretty heartbroken. So in a way I’m doing better, but at the end of the day life’s still pretty shit.
As much as I hate admitting it, the break up was a true wake-up call for me. I knew things were bad, but your boyfriend breaking up with you because he can’t take it anymore, truly shows you how fucked up your life is. Him breaking up with me was the last thing I wanted to happen, so I quickly decided (which isn’t as easy as I’m making it sound right now) that I wouldn’t let the things I love and care about slip away from me. I decided to get back in control of my life and my own happiness (#girlbossing).
I wish I could now tell you that my ex-boyfriend and I are back together and I’m happy once and for all, but sadly that isn’t true. I did however manage to hand in my master thesis last week. Which is quite the achievement in a time of utter heartbreak and after managing to delay it for over 2.5 years… Starting a blog and just writing about things that interest me are two other things I managed to delay for quite some time. It’s something I was too scared to do, because I wanted it to be perfect. That’s actually quite a common theme in my life and so far it has only led to unhappiness. So this time I tried to let go of my fear and my perfectionism and just crack on with writing a blog post. It’s nowhere near perfect and not what I had in mind for my first post, but it’s a start!
And I guess that’s where I want to end my first blog post. A new blog is born! I’ve decided to go easy on myself and to put my blog out there as “a blog on life”. In a way it’s like a diary to me, for the entire world to read… Having “a blog on life” enables me to follow my heart and write about things I’m passionate about, rather than having to write something to fit a certain mold. So who knows what the next post will be about… It could be tips on how to survive a break-up (I have no fucking clue), but it might as well be on the new pair of shoes I bought. And maybe, eventually, it’ll be a post on happiness. That would be great.